I am Jewish
want to be.
 
Want to be Jewish,
that’s me.
 
I go to temple
try to be.
 
Try to stop thinking
of how I could be free.
 
My daddy,
mumbling the wrong Hebrew words.
 
And smiling down at me.
That’s how Jewish
I want to be.
 
I’m afraid to smile
sitting in services.
 
Afraid that someone
will see me,
see my smile
being just a little fake.
 
But when smiling is too scary,
that isn’t being Jewish that I see
 
I’m Jewish,
yeah,
that’s me.
 
I’m just afraid,
for perfect and fake
being the way people see me
sitting in services
smiling big
for all to see.
The new me.
 
Singing the prayers all perfectly,
being praised
for letting people see that me.
 
“You’re a f—-ing Jewish bitch,
aren’t you?”
A kid shouted in my face once.
 
I liked that,
hinting
that being Jewish
was simply me.
 
I am Jewish
to me.
Want to be Jewish,
that’s me.